Welcome to the end. There's a thing some of us value that shall never happen. The end. It comes out of nowhere; it fills up your soul in a most toxic way. The end. There comes a point in everyone's career, or venture, when they must reevaluate what has been, what will be, and where they are in life. Sadly, this comes too quickly for most entertainers. Once it becomes evident how much effort it takes. That there's no other way to realize you have to make sacrifices. It is a painful thing to realize. It can push your passion to a halt.
During Metallica's “Black Album” recording and tour time, for three plus years, all of them started out married and three of them ended up divorced. It's tough. What's your sacrifice worth? Is it worth the passion of your soul screaming out to express? Is it the love of being in that spotlight? Is it a joy of performing, interacting, being a part of that scene? What makes it work it?
For me, I love creating and performing. I'm a slave to that stage. Be it comedy, music, or acting, I love being on stage. Not for others to watch, but because I feel at home there. I feel I have something to say. Even if it's not important, my heart still needs to have a moment to express things. From there, I'm always shaking with ideas. In one day I could go from drawing, to writing, to music, to comedy, and still feel like there is so much more.
This may be the separation of artist/hobbyist versus a career driven individual. An artist must create but not really know, or care about that business end of it. If they're painting in their garage, or creating music to play at some rundown bar, they don't care. Just as long as they are doing it.
A career driven individual never stops. They never find a reason to give up. This is their life, what they want, where they want to be. Giving up chances of redundant moments in life for a once in a life time opportunity. That's desire, motivation, dedication. It flows through someone's will to be. It gives them an understand of air. So much so that if they couldn't breathe, as long as they could create they'd be fine with it.
I am a rare individual who is divided into two parts. One part artist, one part career driven. I love to create, it is my life. I feel dead when I can't put my mind to use. If I'm just sitting around I feel wasted. Even now I am writing something. This became an effort to sever boredom from my daily life. After this, I am going to work on jokes, maybe music, may eat. Either way, I will always be creating.
This does not have anything to do with my second side. My career. The career side always makes things happen in me. What opportunity can I get from this, or better yet... What opportunity can I make happen through this act? Every day, I do a little advertising, no matter what I at least advertise. When I go out, I also network and constantly have merchandise on me. Not to sell, but to help expose my name by giving it out to anyone that wants it. It is free, for I just want people to know there is someone out there.
I love my life, behind the scenes or on that stage, I am happy with that part of my life. To be a careered driven entertainer you have to remember to give everything you are to it. Until you can finally relax. Make things happen by doing things. Don't wait for something to happen. It will never happen, unless you are doing things to make that “chance” happen.
I am far from over. I am far from giving up. But every day I see at least one person give up. This world was not advanced by those willing to sit down and give up on an idea. Ideas move us further in a world that can only become greater with time. So what if we have been on the moon, we're still just a large planet populated by tribal wars. I'm sure one day we'll start using our brains in guiding our expressions to another level. I'm just saying... Don't give up, ask for help, be helpful, and remember to always have fun.
Peace and hope, until again...
~ Thomas J Bellezza
P.S. Do this for yourself first and foremost. If you don't you will never find Reason. Reason is inside you. Your heart, soul, passion, are things you need to bring out of you. Others can't induce this in a pure sense. It would be only a small burst of inspiration. Driven only by those around you. Be your inspiration, be your effort, be your success. People change around you, you are always the there.
Oh, and don't forget, you never know who someone is or knows. With that said, don't be a douche-bag to them, then find out they know something you don't know only to become all friendly with them. Not cool, not professional.
Lesson over...
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